Chasing Goals Without Pressure: The Key to Lasting Growth

The less you see the goal as a life-changing experience, the higher the chances it will actually change your life.

There’s a unique energy we derive when we face major challenges—whether it’s a horse show, an important business meeting, or even a first date. The timeline leading up to the event is filled with anticipation, imagining the best-case scenarios but also bracing for the worst. During this time, each of us approaches preparation differently. I am me, and you are you, and our paths to getting ready are as unique as we are.

However, what’s often overlooked is the pressure—both internal and external—that builds during the preparation period. Every decision feels significant. Every call we make seems like it could tip the scales for better or worse. With the clock ticking, the ideal approach is to focus on doing your personal best. But what does that really mean, and how can we ensure we bring our best into action when it truly matters?

The answer lies in shifting your mindset. Stop viewing every move as a potentially life-changing moment. Instead, recognize that the experience itself is already changing your life simply because it’s happening here and now. Each step teaches you something about yourself and the world around you. Life is a constant learning process—you can only do what you know how to do, and you can’t yet do what you haven’t learned. And that’s okay.

Just chill, and get to work. That’s the essence of it. Don’t go out there burdened by the pressure to be perfect or even your “best self.” Instead, approach the task with full attention and intention. That’s all it takes to start becoming the best version of you.

In sports—and in life—there’s no “do or die.” There’s only doing, and then doing it again, and again. Not because you need to, but because you want to. Many have quit along the way, but if you’re still in it, go all the way—not for the race, but for the experience. Learn from it. Master your mental and physical flexibility.

If the win comes, it might change your life. If it doesn’t, it might still change your life. Who knows? And honestly, who cares? What matters isn’t the outcome, but the journey. That’s where the real growth happens. The less pressure you put on the result, the more energy you can channel into preparing for success. That’s the secret: let go of the pressure for perfection and focus on the process.

Gilead “Gil” Friedman, founder and head coach of Mental Athletics, brings more than 20 years of industry experience to his perspective on horse-sport performance psychology. The NRHA Professional, who grew up riding performance horses and worked under several NRHA Professionals in the U.S., recognized mental performance coaching as a vital element of competitive reining preparedness. Mental Athletics delivers tailored, one-on-one coaching and on-demand learning to professionals and non pros worldwide, helping them become more skilled horsemen and resilient competitors. Friedman is based out of Rishpon, Israel.