Improving your riding and your mindset is a journey you can
learn to embrace.
Article by Alexis Bennett, with Gilead Friedman - courtesy of Reiner Psych : November 2024
Less-than-perfect days happen. You let your score get to you. You say, “Whoa,” without listening to your horse when they tell you they’re not ready to stop. You let yesterday’s ride affect today’s performance. You’re only human, and to expect perfection from yourself — even if
you know better — robs you from enjoying the journey. That’s what riding and competing is about, after all. It’s a journey with your horse. This is the fourth and final article of a four-part series focused on developing high performance, fulfillment and well-being in competitive reining. Inspired by “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, NRHA Professional Gilead “Gil” Friedman of Mental Athletics shares a framework riders can use to manage the pressures of showing while maximizing their mental and emotional wellness. The fourth agreement always do your best — reminds you to focus on progress over perfection.
A Learning Process
During the past year, you’ve learned three agreements to improve your communication, listening and intentions with your horse. Admittedly, these agreements are hard to keep. It’s a challenge to be good with your body language, listen more and not take anything personally. Your riding journey is personal, and it’s easy to get caught up in your emotions and break the agreements. Fortunately, because it’s a journey, there’s no end. You might have goals, but once you accomplish those, you will move on to new ones. It’s an endless path toward learning and improvement.
Tips to Be Your Best
• Stay open to learning. If you’re a trainer, you likely have high competency in some areas and challenges in others. That doesn’t mean you’re immune to learning. Challenge yourself by finding something you’re interested in and broadening your knowledge through books, seminars or coaching. It can be riding, horsemanship, business or your mindset. As a trainer, you’re often expected to be the expert, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find outside insight useful. Reach out to a colleague you trust and ride with them, for example. The same is true for non pros. Find areas of interest and dig in.
• Find mentorship. If you’re a non pro, you might find value in training your mindset or fitness, but you’re also likely looking to improve your horsemanship and riding. Look for an NRHA Professional you think is right for you, and invest in yourself and your horse. Take lessons, put the horse in training, and discover areas you can get better. Once you’ve found someone, be coachable. Do your best to listen and apply what you’ve learned.
• Set goals. At the beginning of each year, set goals and then let them go. Not to say that you shouldn’t start a year with goals in mind, but remember that the goals take time. You must take it one day at a time, be present with your horse, and do your best for that day, each day. That’s how you make progress toward the goals, not by fixating on them.
That’s the premise of the fourth and final agreement: Always do your best. Every day, you have a choice about how you handle challenges and opportunities that come your way, in and out of the saddle. This last idea encourages you to treat each new situation and experience as an opportunity to learn. Show up, do your best, and take the information as what it is — information. Use it to make yourself better, identify areas for improvement and mark your progress.
A Progressive Mindset
Even the top-level reiners are always working on their skills — their horsemanship, their mindset and their showmanship. If the expectation of continual progress is good enough for the best in the in In any endeavor, limiting beliefs about ability can stunt growth. The “can’ts” quell your potential. Instead, adopt a progressive mindset to measure progress instead of success.
If your goal is to make the finals or jump from Rookie to Level 1, for example, how might you determine whether you’re taking steps toward your goals? One way is to put in the effort. If you’re practicing and investing in your skills and showing up for your horse, you will inevitably improve, even if the outcomes don’t reflect it. Even if your score gets better, that doesn’t necessarily mean your standings will improve. So instead of focusing on the outcome, concentrate on the growth. If you’re working toward your goal, you are progressing and learning. True effort means you’re doing your best.
The Absence of Fear
Competition is triggering. You invest time, energy and resources into yourself and your horse, and with that, you develop expectations. You fear that it will all have been a waste if you don’t win or get the outcome you’re hoping for. The truth is, when you’re preparing, you don’t know whether you will win or lose. You don’t know what will happen until it happens. Since you can’t predict the future, the only discomfort you feel is anticipation for what’s to come. Horses aren’t like that. They are in the moment. For example, in the morning, they’re hungry. They wait for food. When it shows up, they’re grateful.
Similarly, when you know an event is coming up, you can stay present rather than worry about the outcome, which is largely out of your control. Focus on what’s in front of you. Do all that you can to prepare so that when you enter the arena, you have a sense of calm knowing that the result will be what it is. When you’re present in the moment, you can show to the best of your ability, too. The alternative to presence is fear. It’s anticipation. It’s fear of the outcome, about what the future holds, about not being good enough — or whatever mental chatter you have going on. When you’re afraid, you hold back. When you’re present, you’re free. You can push yourself, challenge yourself and show up for your horse. You will know that you gave the best you had on that day for that run. Peak performance and well-being meet when you are free to push for your best.
Remembering the Four Agreements
In the first agreement — be impeccable with your body language — you learned to speak, listen and think like a horse to improve performance and have a more fulfilling partnership with your horse. In the second agreement, you were reminded not to take anything personally by assigning motives to others and especially not to your horse. In the third agreement — don’t make assumptions — you were challenged to remember the importance of being present and listening to your horse. In the fourth agreement, remember that you’re human and can only do your best. None of the agreements are easy, and it’s not reasonable to expect yourself to be perfect. There will be hard days.
All you can do is give yourself grace and do your best.
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